ilovenana

2010-06-08T21:36:00.001+08:00

I went Back To Maple :]

Papa Today Keep Scoldinq x.x Lalalas. :]

Nana.

2010-06-07T17:51:00.009+08:00

OFFICIALLY BACK FROM CAMP !

Well Camp was REAL FUN :]!

Made new friends :DDD, And Learnt alort! :B

Hope it does help pull up my humanities next term ;x

Durinq the camp,

i felt real left out,

like seriously,

hahas, and my lauqhters,

maybe 60% were fake? :].

it's just tht, i couldn't fit in,

maybe they're all tht smart :]

but i , really don't have the intelligence.

all the questions they asked,

i could'nt answer,

i guess it just shows that i needa work harder and try harder.

Sianzxc eh,

cant spend the money i earned on @Cash x.x

blehhzxc.

i wanna cry seriously. But i'm tryinq not to.

Feel so hurt. Seen someone kin push you to the road ? Seen someone kin wanna put you into police station?

I guess that's just,

minor.

Common in all families? :[ But i don't lyke it. Can we change this system someone.

i cant take it.

siqhs.

okehs,

baii :}

/ps. The Great Images They Put in my mind Durinq Kindergarden,

I thouqht they were True,

I thouqht i could trust Them.

I'm still trustin it.

Please Don't Treat Me This Way.

I really still think you treat me dear.

2010-06-01T12:40:00.002+08:00

HEYHEY :D
Bloq dead i guess x.x
Hahahas :B
pretendinq to be hiqhh ~
i don't wanna be sadddd. oh tht's baddd. ^w^
I went crazy o'er the piano .
thouqh i don't play nice. ;B ,
can play TTL Lerhhx!<3><
it's uber nice kays D;
Yesterday mommy scolded .
Boom ! x.x
Then after tht sister come add salt =3
they added alort,
i think the dish ish too salty :B
Hahas !
today morninq they add more ~.~
ohh well :]
AND
i wanna apoloqise to the peep i showed attitude to ytd.
duibuqi -bows-
i was in a baaddd. mood .
i know tht i don't have the riqhts to do tht even if i bad mood.
but yupps. i did it ==
okehh
buaiiiiix :8 .
i'll miss euu bloqqie ;shy next time i chanqe nicer skin kay ! not emo de :]
/ps. I just want you to live for yourself. i tried a million ways to tell euu tht. but i guess euu didn't see it. get well soon ;

2010-05-31T17:01:00.002+08:00

Got back my results.
Tonite sure get scoldinqq ;D
i shall hold my tears till the very endd.
Euu know whad. There's a reason behind my results droppinq non stop.
There's a reason behind whad i do.

2010-05-27T01:30:00.000+08:00

Have euu ever thouqht why.
Why i sprnd so much time on games.
Why i dread going out with euu.
In fact, i dont really play when i'm online even.
It's just the company tht i find.
All you do is scold.
Scold me for sleepinq late.
Beinq addicted to games.
Not takinq care of meii.
But truth is. What's the use of sleepinq when i cant fall aslp. If i were addicted would my skills drop so drastically?
Euur not by my side most of the time. Euur both always busy. And i'm always left alone.
I know its useless cryinqq. But i cant stop my tearszxc. I thouqht i cried till i couldnt already. But now it just shows i still have more. .

2010-05-26T23:42:00.002+08:00

Awh,
Last dayy of sku :],
missdiemyfriends.
DISCLAIMER; PROPERTY ! IF Euu don't jio nana out, I KILL EUU >:[
Hahahahahas ;x
Got camp cominq riqhht up ~!
Sounds not fun ;no ;x~
But Who cares?, Learn Somethinq, Somethinq gained ;duh :]
Daddy was lecturinq thru dinner.
If you wanna scold me,
Do it directly , seriously.
i rather euu did it so than going in huqe rounds and makinq sarcastic remarks ,
They are NOT nice to hear :].
I. . want someone to talk to.
This Loneliness. It's horrible.
hahas, :]
Zi-hiqh bahh nana. euu no choice.
Buhbyeeeee ;D
/ps . "Euu're A good gurl, getting a demerit point isn't worth it" . OhISee. I thinkthe opposite:].
/pss. Holidays, days of loneliness get worser, or just better?.

2010-05-24T16:34:00.002+08:00

Siqhs,
everyone goes boohoo ~ isn't life so suckish? :]
well,
i'm just typical, not Pessimistic :].
Went to sku beinq tired.
Eyes feel uber uber swollen .
3 Days without sleep:]
and i finally fell aslp for 1 or 2 hours yesterday,
how good :]
wheeeeeee.
fact is;
i still love .
but cannot say also ;pray
so i think i just keep quiet and live on w/o anyone barhh.
i'm invisible anws ;D
when people talk . i listen :]
buaii.
/ps. i'mma guailan de kia :]
/pss. Thinqs, they just appear.

2010-05-23T21:53:00.000+08:00

all that i see.

2010-05-22T22:01:00.002+08:00

i . . need them.

Two days le. Nana cnt slp x.x

ever since one day beforego back sku tht day bahh.

lauqhs.

maybe it's revenge or whud.

:]. stare at fone and the time doubles. 2am. 4am. 6am. and at last. .

i see liqht `

I have lost faith in trust.

tears, they trickle,

they make my eyes swollen ~.~

hahahas.

Friday had many thinqs ohh.

Went for cca :]

Niqhtinqale was 0.0 ~

my knee ne. tio injured. blueblack and skin came off x.x

painn . .

press will jump ~ go wheeeee x]

hahahahas,

had a talk after that :]

for subject combination .

Tht day. . Daddy made me feel. Neglected. haha.

okehh

buaiix :], x3

2010-05-19T22:35:00.001+08:00

-/igiveup.

2010-05-18T21:45:00.002+08:00

i looked at you.

thinkinq that i could trust you.

and after those days .

i realised.

You aren't a friend to me at all.

-/ The degree of fraqile friendship can be. You never know what is true. Who is leavinq. When.

2010-05-17T23:32:00.003+08:00

i thouqht. i could .

results like shyt o.o .

Father see le scold for sure ._.

anws, he lectured me on the way back home from the clinic already.

got mc for another 3 days.

till thursday :].

don't know if its good or bad.

hope that i recover soon x3

hahahas ;x painful .

no more painkillers ! TT

haiish. life isn't whad i always wanted it to be.

buaiix.x3

-/ I was once that innocent to trust that dreams came true.

2010-05-17T22:04:00.003+08:00

Daddy.
It mayy not appear to be painful.
But fact is. Its hurtinq like hell.
Dont show it cuz i dont want euu and mummy to worry bout me
but now. I doubt you care.
because everythinq that euu say now.
Rinqs to my ears as words of insult.
i know you care.
but you don't have to defame thinqs around me :].
Neither . do you have to say thinqs bout me.

2010-05-17T18:51:00.002+08:00

Conqraqulations xin jieh on marriaqe in audiie

;hoho :x

2010-05-16T20:31:00.003+08:00

Moumouren; nishibushizaishenqqi，no matter whad,
Iloveyou. And you were the one who brouqht back tht feelinq i once had.
If you dont trust my words.thts fine. But i just wanna tell you. Youuareminee.(:

2010-05-16T12:47:00.003+08:00

it's painful, but so?
lalalalalalala :D
i can bet with euu !
my heart now ish.
bleedinq o; !
i mean not literally ;D
HAHAHAHAS :D NANA WIN ~
wheeeeeee x]
okeh. zi hiqh ;dan
didi became my audiie couuple ;woot 0.0
hahahhas <3 loveeee.
anws,
pill popping isn't fun ;x ytd pop dao stomach ache .
guess cuz my dinner time and medication time was FAAAAAAR apart ;x
kekes,
hope tht i'll recover soon ;D!
loverrr :D JIIAYOUS FOR TUITION ! LOL
buaiix<3

2010-05-15T19:18:00.001+08:00

Msninq didi, LOL ;x
he damn funneh
whad upskirt ;eeks
EUU BIANTAI LURH
hohoho,
x.x
ended le. 04052010-15052010 . i'll miss you <3
-/sometimes, decisions are made because of reasons, [like duh]

2010-05-13T22:10:00.002+08:00

Cryinq like fuuckzxc shyt in bed now.
Just now someone insisted stayinq in same room
hfmd contagious. I dnt want tht person to get so i pretended i was anqry.
Shouted my lunqs out. And was tearinq behind her back
And now. Cryinq non stop.
Baby busy barhh.
Shall not disturb . .
Nana<3
-/ somwtimes it hurts so much Tht you dont want to exist .

2010-05-13T10:49:00.003+08:00

WAAAAHHHHHH.
PAIN DIE ME /=
hahahahahahhas,
nana still sick uhs :],
nehminds,
jump jump moreeee x]
happy yi dian,
will faster recover barhhx? kekes ^^
thanks to those who wished me speedy recovery and getwellsoon x].
actually both same meaninq lurh LOL ;x
idk ehs,
mommy say i same as my sisters,
hfmd ;cry
yupps.
and i'm startinq to suspect that too 0.0
this morninq,
nana took hp and stared at her throat at the mirror 0.0!
thn horh,
i saw.
ulcers at the area before i could see my throat.
and my throat was red O_O
kewwwll ~~
hahahahhaa,
have difficulty eatinqqq uhhs :l
kekes.
okehs,
buaiiix<3
/ps. baby jiiayouuu for exams worx :] [i know euu won't read this]
/pss. hope that presentation in sku went well o.o, the adv i make must be suckishh barhx x.x

2010-05-12T17:17:00.001+08:00

Lol;x shyyt. Nana overdose

2010-05-12T11:21:00.000+08:00

-/ burninq. hahas. feel even more hot after i cry ;woot

2010-05-09T22:54:00.003+08:00

-/pain. hurt. tears. bloodshed. disasters.

2010-05-09T08:56:00.004+08:00

Since no one reads . Guess its fine.

A sonq of hymm,
A sonq of love,
A sonq of truthfulness which i once heard.
Where did it go?
Into the bin i guess .
Imissyou sonqs .
Come backzxc.
So tht i can hide from the painful lies . Unloved feelinq . And broken heartedness.
Beinq with him seems like empty.
Beinq with friends makes me invisible.
Beinq with family. I feel used.
I know i'm a selfish bytch . But.
Is there a need to treat me this way?
In the end , i'm still afterall a human .
But i guess you dont treat me as one.
Your biased heart. Makes me wonder how it survive'.
Invisibility i guess.
All i am to this world.
And why can't . .
My tears be invisible like me too.

-/ happy mummie's day mommy. Hope euu enjoy it(: ♥

2010-05-08T18:22:00.001+08:00

came online happily wantinq to post.
end up.
tio called down.
and mother said sth that made me wanna cry.
fuuckzxc. if it's always liddat . thn i die better can?

2010-05-06T23:14:00.001+08:00

-/i once, loved you deeply.

2010-05-04T22:04:00.002+08:00

feelinq , down.

is it that fun to chide me

is it that fun to tease me?

i feel damn left out at times, really.

ni men kai xin jiu hao.

04052010,♥

nana.

2010-05-03T15:57:00.001+08:00

-/studied and cared for sick meimei whole day :)

2010-05-01T13:30:00.002+08:00

----my life seriously .
everythinq lost my fault,
everythinq wronq also me,
seriously.
ok,
maybe i have a part,
but not all?
in school,
i'm havinq it enuff with those people already.
come home still see euur liddat.
sometimes,
just wished that my life was different.

2010-04-30T00:24:00.001+08:00

oh ain't toys fun?:] uber fun

2010-04-28T23:34:00.003+08:00

i would think i'll live forever:]

School was . .

idk, i owned up for skippin PE last thursday ;x,

teacher didn't send me for detention ~

yay me:].

test went horibbly bad /=

tmr qot qeoqraphy.

died while study :]

-Nana, died as of 11:35 due to studyinq causes-

hoho ;x ~

okkayyys,

these few days nothinq much to post ,

buaiiix,x3!

2010-04-28T00:12:00.000+08:00

hurts badly doesn't it.

-feverish.

2010-04-27T00:00:00.002+08:00

the path to freedom? or death.

relationships are just so complicated.

you never know when you're correct.

you never know who's correct.

but in some, the other partner get's blamed for everything,

when he or she doesn't deserve it,

is this fair?

in such a situation, i doubt that the person understands whad he or she wants,

because it only ends up in tears and pain.

and only one who gives. .

love,

to give and take,

to see the other half happy.

to see the other living in happiness and not owning him or her.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

the timeless efforts i put in,

no results come out of them.

what's wrong with me exactly?

do i have a problem or whud.

crying almost everyday.

that's not a hobby nana.

stop treating it as one :]

even if tears are uncontrollable

try controlling,

euu can de .

jiiayouuuuuuuuuus for common tests everyoneee x3

2010-04-26T00:44:00.000+08:00

i lied again.
so sorry.
but. jiiayouuus on forgetting me :]
buaiix.

2010-04-25T11:44:00.002+08:00

dear dead bloggie :],

i'm finally posting again ~

ilurbdai euu. for letting me give out all my feelings on euu

xinkunile ;x

哪怕他不爱，只怕他不想。

crap laii de :D

idk semo. just feel like writing sth liddat . ==

lalalala,

finished studied one chapter of geography ,

pro right

i took one week ==!

omgaaaawwwdd. science. noooooo D;

anws, i don't really care x]

mama just went out.

gonna buy new fone soon ,

papa like dunn really want let me choose /=

mama say go see, papa say aiiyaaa just buy that 98$ de,

T^T. i no comments.

suibian lorhx. as long as not LG and can take pics i happy le .

i think i cried last night ehs,

I THINK ~

LOL ;x morning wake up eyes both sore de ~.~

blahblahblacksheep :3

okieeeeeeees

buaiix,x3

-/爱，有那么简单吗？要爱不代表要拥有。只要对方开心就好了。。。

2010-04-25T01:17:00.000+08:00

saw you agn.
you brought back memories,
but it's wrong to be with euu :].

/ps. tears that drip non-stop.

2010-04-24T22:33:00.002+08:00

ilurbdaieuu:].
exams cominq le,
studying :] ,
and, sadly, i only studied less than one chapter -_-
omggaaaawwwdd nana! >:[
gonna change url soon :D
have not been posting for a lonq time ohhs ~~
blog died :D
laughs,
these few days alort things happen uhs.
accidentally miss lessons.
sprained ankle. twice in a day -_-
unsw test O_O! i think fail le /=
sjab ~ which was uber, wierd ?
hearttoheartcampaign sales :D
forgetting of some events , took me a great time:]
gurl, i did lie,
but it was at the end.
i wanted you to give up on me,
i wanted you to forget me totally.
and continue your life.
i was just an obstacle,
i guess i've some sort of removed myself,
so i hope euu really live euur live well :],
i lied . yes. and i was stabbing myself too . euu weren't the only one that cried .
i cried too. yes. two hours straight. and had sore eyes for 3 days ~.~
haiiyooo.
end le :]
nana stop thinking >:[
aiiyaaa, was damn shocked when he or she told me :]
found new audiie cpl today, :]
hope he is tx barhx, if i tio break agn.
no choice lorhx .also not i can control de rite ;D
-End
/ps. nat didi get well soon ! :D
/pss. kexin jiejie, cheer up ! x]
/psss. paupau jiejie, jiiayouuuus for exams x3
/pssss. xiwangruci :]

the end of the wonderful dream i weaved in you :]

2010-04-20T23:32:00.003+08:00

i don't know what to do now.
i'm lost.
you made me cry yeah.
zai .
everything's not euur fault kays :]
my fault.
i'm a fat, liar.
big fat cheater.
yupps,
i can say euur dumb to have listened to my words.
but euur definitely able to do well in euur studies.
from now .
good luck in euur studies :]
nana.

2010-04-18T21:39:00.001+08:00

ilovedieeuubaby :]

2010-04-18T21:01:00.003+08:00

Nc5,

i miss you. like seriously.

even though i was very stressed during competition period.

i think,

euu were the one that stayed beside me during that time.

we all went throught thick and thin.

i know i am a very irritating and lame team leader.

but still,

i 'm really thankful for the journey you walked with me.

i've never entered an important competition before.

this is the first.

yupps.

so thank euu for playing euur roles.

and being part of my life.

those times may have been tiring and horrible,

but they were our days of hard work and laughter.

i miss those days.

but i'm afraid that.

next year.

it won't be a possibility. . .

2010-04-17T01:49:00.002+08:00

being practical, that's just what i am. .

As th' days go by,
i just live in loneliness,
it's not that no one's right beside me,
it's not that everyone's ignoring me,
it's just that i'm secluding myself deliberately from the world.
what's wrong with me.
can't i just accept?
people ask and i just reject or find excuses.
does it really help?
i'm sorry.
i just don't wanna hurt .
this lil' heart of mine,
has already been stabbed with a million knifes.
i don't think it's suitable for you,
neither is it suitable to care for you.

nana.

2010-04-16T01:37:00.000+08:00

2010-04-16T01:23:00.002+08:00

fat liars,
all just fat liars.
am i really that naive to you all?
does telling lies to me become a habit after time?
or is it really that fun to lie to me.
tell me the truth, i rather euu hurt me, then letting me find out that you've lied.
it's very painful to know all these.
my heart's hurting.
badly. like a knife that stabbed me multiple times.

2010-04-16T01:18:00.002+08:00

this special love i have for chocolates ,x3

had napfa today :]' idk how euu spell it though ;x ,
great pleasure chionging with my besties ><
well, have a great chance of getting gold ! ;x
history test is tmr,
and i haven't really studied for it,
not really worried bout that one,
more worried bout,
ENGLISH BROCHURE ;wild,
i did some parts just now,
but it's just so lil',
can't expect me to do much,
maybe they did sth already.
anws, i don't care, i did my part already:]
took the whole afternoon and nite ytd to do the thankyou board for trainers,
end up go sku my writings , whad i wrote at night,
just got covered by coloured paper ==
waste my time lurh ._.
dunn like me do,
say right,
pass to me for whad ~
buaiix

2010-04-13T23:50:00.002+08:00

and the streetlights just shine on my pale face. .

all cheer up kays <3 :]
today damn suey o.o
go sku, oversleep, cuz the day before slp at 3 x.x
then first lesson , tio fa zhan le ;sigh , then i was quite happy bout' it ;x LOL
cuz i sleepy,
make me stand then i can concentrate yeah? ;yay!
;x kekes, then aft that recess time no appetite. was worried bout three big peep ;sigh, hope their fine now.
after recess came literature ~.~ , then maths, maths test was boom ~ down Lol. just pass niah ;x
english was a bore,
was like half sleeping,
ok , i was practically sleeping, eyes cnt open, so keep closing, then got once,
i suddenly awake, then jump, then mrs cumar was like sitting diagonally across staring
then i was damn scared LOL ;x
hehs,
art was dirty :D
during lunch,
i was thrown with two great choice, humanities camp or anco camp,
i had to decide which,
did the teachers actually think i'm ultra-clever?
was highly encouraged to go for both,
ended up asking my mama, and she told me go humanities de, cuz my studies or sth
idk her lurh ;x
cca points, if not enuff, i guess i'll just take more care of animals, elderly and kids :]
lotsalurb ,
nana

when you look up into the purple sky,
the horizons you see,
stretch to the ends,
you just feel tired,
tired to complete the race,
tired to continue holding on,
but still,
you have no choice,
and can only put on a front.
you tried to reach for a star,
just to try get a wish fufilled,
but it's hard i know,
cuz a star's just that high up,
unreachable,
but attainable,
it just depends on how hard you work . :]

2010-04-12T19:43:00.002+08:00

iloveyou.

went zoo on last thursday and friday :],

the two kias damn cute kkays,

the first gurl broke my heart. she made me shatter instantly. almost cried there == !

second gurl vehh funny ;x, she like rub my hand Lol .

this is my buddy on the second day <3 she's the one whuu like to rub the hand de ;x

this is the buddy on the first day :], she shattered my heart but still.. hope she enjoyed my company :]
i had serious gastric problems on wednesday. pain dao go home.
and almost fainted due to pain on tuesday x.x
laughs ;x
exams coming soon le. . so far only studied those few chapters /=
i shall work hard.
maths test fail. this is the second time in my life. nana fat failure.

i took your hand,
but you let mine go,
i saved a thought for you,
but all i had was coldness,
total coldness,
i wished for you,
but you never appeared. .

buaiix:].

2010-04-07T19:45:00.002+08:00

friends that stay by you, what can i say? :]

today stomach ache.
end up go home earlier o; was super duper pain.
then i pain dao cnt stand x.x
spilled milo in sick bay,
cleared ;x
mama came and fetched me home
then she went off again,
ask me sms aunt to see if need eat whad medicine not.
ate porridge and felt better:]
abby came to pass my hmwk, yay<3
thanks ><
hahahahs,
she scared of the dog outside ;x
sayangs <3
hehs,
=3 saturday second session of enrichmennt! -jumps- ><
need chiong x.x
got like 30 pages . thn tmr got more x.x
TT, i see dao luan.
now, lungs hurting quite alort. stomach aching x.x
sighs.
when will this ever end?
recruited a few peep into fam ;D
jiiayouuus , FIRSTLOVE HUAT <3
buaiix :D
/ps. dreamt of euu last night. but all i saw was just you and someone else :]

2010-04-06T16:47:00.002+08:00

i know i'm crazy, i know i'm sot, but so what? that's just me:]
laughs,
slept during maths today O_O,
teacher looked as if she wanted to scold me ;x
dm nehh x.x scared D;
but eyes really cnt open ! TT
then during homecons,
wanted puke /=
end up i sweat like siao and headache .
drank like a tap o;
after school went kovan eat icecream with abby <3, :]
hahahhas,
homeworks ! >:[, TESTS ! >:[
omgosh i'm haunted like ...
laughs.
here's something :]

taxi uncle: xiaomeimei , shu shu hen shuai ba?
xmm : en...
taxi uncle: shenme ?
xmm : mei shen me mei shen me !
taxi uncle: yao jia jiu kuai dian jia worx, yao zhui jiu kuai dian zhui worx, yao zhui wo de ren chong hua la gong yuan pai dao zhang yi ji chang.
xmm : shushu, ni na me lao le, hai jiao wo zhui? peipeipei ! xiang de meii ya ~!

laughs,
buaiix <3

2010-04-04T23:09:00.002+08:00

sometimes, the shortness and pain of life, can bedazzle euu.

front part of the day was quite fun with laughter.
mummy played with me.
was under the rain the whole morning.
got damn restless by afternoon,
mummy was so cute,
she was the xmm, and i played as the taxi driver, driving her arnd in the buggy. laughs.
after lunch,
went back to sg,
didn't know mummy was driving to hospital.
went to see great grandmother.
wanted cry right there at that point of time.
i feel your pain even if you don't feel anything.
why must it be like that.
cant everyone be free of illnesses and everything,
livehappily with each other forever?
i know we need to go through these things,
but still,
it hurts like fuckzxc shit. and i don't ever want to .
looking at her lie at the bed, asleep.
my heart ached. though i didn't have much memories of her,
she now takes the fluid diet ,
by the nose.
i rmb puking last year when i saw them feed her.
imagine euur food going down euur nose.
sighs.
buaiix.
/ps. you lied. .

2010-04-03T15:55:00.002+08:00

sometimes, being cooped up is better than being locked in.

joined back tuition today,
was damn hyper,
ended up taking one hour to do 10 pages,
horrible naan ;eeks,
kel korkor keep ask me tag sa,
wobuyao TT,
later nightmare i haunt euu >:[
went out with abby just now :],
saw this gurl in the train,
abit ahem nehh, x.x
lol,
then at macs was damn funneh o.o
she waved to jialin,
then erm,
got one guy in between, hahahahahhaas ;x
she said he looked at her in a blur way ~
;x
hahahahas, she thinks that he thought she was waving to him O_O!
hehs,
buaiix =3
/ps. the times i thought again, i still chose not to do it.
/pss. uber guilty cannot find the shop in clarke quay ytd, thanks amanda for peii-ing me, w/o euu, i think i might have cried already x.x! or maybe took a cab to mrt =P, euu super kind x] , scared i lost then peii me, end up i wasted euur xin si, ;x psps .

2010-03-31T22:39:00.004+08:00

There was once a gurl,
who was twice as caring as me,
thrice as concerned as me,
and four times as lovely as me,
she had five times the troubles i had,
but felt six times the laughter,
she didn't feel the burden that was seven times heavier,
but only learned that if she cherished the laughter, it would be eight times more,
the joy she shared can be said to be nine times as whad i experienced,
but during the tenth, she was the happiest gurl in the world ;D,

that was just a joke, let's get serious ;D

this for kaixin didi ,x3
kaixin didi,
the time that you spent on it,
have you thought whad it would turn you out to be?
i guess not,
because it's only now that you realised the problems it caused,
and it's only now where you start correcting yourself,
and it's now all you,
your effort and perseverance to quit it,
it's not a great thing,
but quitting it would make a great difference in your life,
don't treat it like a drug,
don't live because of it,
don't make it your everyday routine,
treat it as an object that can be taken off from euu anytime,
it takes time , i know,
but i believe that you can do it,
hold on in there,
it's the only thing you can do now,
persevere,
for you want to do it, and not because of others :].
peer pressure can be overwhelming,
but it's all in you,
your strength to overcome it.
x3nana

2010-03-31T22:21:00.002+08:00

sometimes, it's just what that pulls you together,

hehs, picture got my bathe towel =3
no one sees my blog anws,
won't die ;D,
erm,
today had sku, almost fall asleep x.x !
end up really fell asleep during live,
wtheck LOL ;x
then sleep 15 mins?
paiseh teacher,
but i got listen kkaes, ;x
went kovan with abby and karina aft sku,
bought seeds and soil :],
karina eat damn slow canzxc ;x
hope she never reads this xP!
hahas,
then she develop fotos,
i was like stoning there with sku bag,
falling aslp =3,
bought rings <3,
hehs,
erm,
have team outing on Friday i think? x],
anws,
school is really getting boring nowadays :].
study hard worx !
buaiix :]
/ps. friends, a lifetime.

2010-03-30T21:26:00.002+08:00

love, is it really that simple?

school today was, wierd?
prize presentation in the morning,
was sweating like siao ,
teachers ask me pull socks up ;x,
erm, lessons were uber boring x.x, almost sleep ~.~,
during maths, ms gan said , i dint know euu were in sjab,
i was like huh?
Lmao ;x
then she went who else is in blahblah cca? :],
i blur diao,
aft sku, public speaking x.x
ask us go there clap clap and listen O_O ,
tired die me x.x
during REW today, lisa so cute :3
she walk over to me,
press press my eyebrows, say don't be sad ! lol ;x
SO CUTE LURH ;x
okehs,
nana finished bloggin :] ,
buaiix,
/ps. iwantyouforever:]

2010-03-28T21:25:00.002+08:00

it's all over. just like that. in a flash.
Yesterday was the competition,
everyone was anxious and worried,
couldn't sleep the day before,
ended up with only about a few hours of sleep.
was damn sleepy during competition,
wanted to cry.
but couldn't. that feeling was damn bad. x.x,
after drill, our first component, i wanted to die already. team name was NC8 but nana said NC5? shibai lurh euu nana.
then during firstaid, i practically went blur. forgot half the things. x.x , actually, it was the treatment that was wrong, causing the blood to seep thru and the respiration to get weaker, but i didn't note about that either, was just worrying non-stop. after homenursing, everyone was already blank. like seriously sad. and we all thought we would get nothing,
but during prize presentation,
when they came to second runner up, they said, NC8 , . i jumped. turned back only to see sasa's agape mouth ;x , and we were like, omgosh really? then i checked the presentation slide once again, and yes, the truth is, we won second.
idk how, but yes, we won second.
and we ran up, cause we hesitated like very long already,
tears were almost gonna drip already, but i guess i held em',
after fall out, i cried. i couldn't hold anymore,
xy cried with me, so sorry, nana's so childish x.x keep crying,
then didn pl cheer <3,
i was like damn dumb, holding the trophy like a bolster and crying ;x thinking back, i feel damn childish. seriously x.x
helped to clear and in the bus,
i called mummy, ask her pick me up at sku,
and at that point, i cried again?. just felt like crying at the phone, i let mummy down i guess.
quite a few cried. but i guess we all just needed to let go? :],
vina ma'am looked real sad and a lil' of angry, and disappointed,
grace ma'am told us that we did ok, and that we should be happy.
vina ma'am, i'm so sorry for disappointing you.
i can tell you that we did our best, but maybe we could have been better if we just remembered more,
it's not your fault at all,
in fact, we are very thankful for everything euu gave unto us,
i know you won't read this,
but still, i hope you can feel it.
sometimes, even the littlest things in life can affect us,
but it's just that the bigger ones hits a huge impact,
nc5, you gave your best,
if you wanna blame anyone ,
blame me?, i made almost all mistakes.
i doubt most of you will read this,
but yupps.
cried till eyes went swollen, i find myself going crazy. laughing like crazy in the morning, and i even composed a song for Nc5 , trainers, Nc6, and the competitors,
-Nana,
/ps. i'm just so thankful for everything, it's now finally over, and i guess i'll just miss Nc5 and trainers, the time spent with them, the five months, would always be in my mind, would always appear in my mind, reminding me of the great times we had, the hard times we went thru together,
/pss. after joining this cca, it's brought together many friends. sjab is definitely a great cca, though tiring, it forges friendships that are unforgettable, be it with the seniors or juniors, everyone gets along well with each other, and learn to accept our differences, our characters and our ways of life, we care for each other and shower love to each other .
/psss. i'm so sorry for rejecting you, was just too emotional at the point you asked me. but truth is, i really loveyou. i guess you don't believe me rite?:], tried explaining to you that love doesn't mean to possess, but to see the person live in happiness, you've left me, and i hope you live life better than ever without me affecting you. wish you happiness :].

2010-03-26T15:57:00.005+08:00

sometimes, the darkness is where i belong:],

school was scary today.

was damn worried and scared of competition.

it's tmr,

inactive blog one day :].

may come back with tears of happiness or sadness,

though so,

i'm gonna give my best >:[, like duh ~ ;x

miss euu comp x3

miss euu piano x3

miss euu :],

buaiiix,

/ps. pictureeees ~

nana cook de, nicenice? x]
:[">

mummy's so gonna kill me ;x

meimei, x3

2010-03-25T23:55:00.002+08:00

the many gossips that go on out there,
doesn't really seem to affect me does it?,
that's only the surface,
i seem fine,
but truth fact is,
i'm hurting like fuckzxc on the inside.
the many things that happen out there,
seems like invisibility to me?,
and once again,
it's only the surface.
it's painful.
someday i might just give up on life.
i don't know.
but issit really that hard to understand me?
issit that hard to make life just that simpler for me?
i'm tired of hiding,
i'm tired of holding my tears back.
i'm tired of crying to sleep.
i'm tired of the scoldings you give for nothing.
i know you love me,
but have you ever thought of my feelings?
i guess you did,
but didn't put it as first priority,
x3 Nana

2010-03-25T22:08:00.002+08:00

sometimes, i only wished time travelled faster.
changed blogskin,
as a break from studying x],
quite satisfied? :],
blog dead from pictures le ohhs ;x

today was sports day !
caught a ride from abby in the morning ><~ sorry, i was late ;x always liddat de nana, so don't ever jio me out, cuz i'll always turn up late ;dan, reached and entered with mama and xy, super uber noisy? sadly, archer lost, but i guess it was at least we did our best, Liyana[if that's how you spell it], as archer's captain, i'm sure you did much and put in a lot of effort, and it can be seen, you took part in the race, you shouted your might out, you danced. you did everything you could. during the mass events, omgosh headache de can ;x, during mass swim , most eventful ;dan, cuz erm, my friend sort of lost my specs in the pool ? end up i chiong up to bag take goggles to find. then frameless somemore, so hard find. end up i swam like abt5 laps to find? was damn tired aft that lol . after sports day, mrt-ed to kovan:], ate yoshinoya with abby, then we went to find karina, mummy and stacy at macs o; ate icecream there x], yuckeh ;dan, i went toilet 6 times there? and none was becuz i needed it O_O, accompany peep =3, funny lorhx they all ;x aft that karina left and we went heartland mall? they went buying stuff for the lil' kids during CIP, stacy was a bit of heck care /= WEIWEI ~ LOL ;x care more for the lil' kids lurh, they so cute and guaii leyy ;D i think halfway or sth, i suddenly said, stacy iloveyou, i think she replied with ihateyou, then said joking ~ ;dan , i forgot whad actually happened? but i said she stabbed my heart 6 times ;x LOLfunneh die. aft that, EAT AGAIN :]
sorry,
i think nana's going FATTER AND FATTER x]
hahahahas, eat sushi =3 thrice leyy omgosh, i think the shop attendant think i siao,
LOL ;x
at first buy from cold storage, then chew chew =3 ,
then after that go EDO sushi, which was not realleh nice, but cheap kkaes, ~
buy twice from there LOL ;x
then was like so funneh ;x i was like talking while paying,
sushi's nice o.o, idk, it was nice at that point of time?
cuz its like, when you cant eat almost everything and suddenly find something so yummy and not
spicy, fried nor heaty =3 ,
was uber happy ><~ watched stacy and mummy eat mai ya tang x] , didn't eat , scared later sore throat o; and left i think ? o.o came home and smsed a lil?, tmr eating recess with 4 chiiobu leyy -winks-
nana so you fu qi ;x
yay ~~

buaiix <3
/ps.mama, i hope i didn't leave you out today, hope you have enjoyed your guitar training, and jiiayouus for tmr's concert kkaes ;D lurves x3,
/pss. sometimes i really don't mean my words, but i have to say that i mean it, if not, i'll end up in a
greater solution.
/psss. white lies are told, to prevent hurting.
/pssss. competition in two days?:], NC5, we can do it, jiiayouuus x3

2010-03-23T22:27:00.002+08:00

i'm very tired already :].
ytd was damn sad? idk ,
not sure if i blogged :],
anws, it's not abt training x],
daddy's now not online.
i can't ask him anything.
truth is, i don't dare to ask. -imagines-
anws,
training today was uber scary,
actually not really,
but because the graduated ma'ams came back , it was a lil' more scary, but they focused on NA :],
and Ms Oh talked to us :],
after training,
saw karina at the canteen x],
she was sweating ._.
hahahahas,
anws, went home and ended up,
being asked if sleepover could take place at my house .
was damn busy,
cuz i dam bendan de hor?
so i go open sleeping bag and try measuring my study room ._. ,
end up idk how fold back
Like, wth ? LOL
training again tmr.
i hope everything will be well and we'll be well prepared,
because i'm sure we still can do more .
NC5,
whad's left is the last lap,
we just have to give our all.
we can do it,
be confident,
i'm not only telling you,
i'm trying to tell myself too,
confidence,
don't lack of it,
because it'll just give others the benefit.

buaiix <3
am i really that kind to you? sometimes i really don't know how to reply, because i'm just in a dilemma, even when i'm in love with euu .

2010-03-22T22:00:00.002+08:00

today was damn tiring ._.
during morning drill,
bang on my ankle.
wow got bruise there, good game nana . good game ._.
training was tiring?.
i had headache already. and it was quite impossible for me to memorise those stuff in the noisy environment.
every class had helium balloons,
which was uber cool. like DAMN COOL, the classes looked as if they were going to float anytime. :]
came home,
had dinner, ended up being very shag.
then when vina ma'am smsed to bring team pen,
i asked mommy fetch me .
i ran to popular. end up the guy almost dunn let me in,
i sort of pleaded with him? ._. , thanks uh shuai ge.
end up bought two random multi-coloured pens. idk uhs. if i wasted my money on that ,
i'm getting effing angry with myself ~
then ran to buy gloves,
and ended up finding mama and sis at bread shop,
was damn tired,
i was yawning while they bought their bread? lol .
on the way there i asked bout the sleepover thingy.
end up before my mum even said a thing,
sister cut in, i thought daddy say go home sleep? don't go lurh.
euur my sister leyy mei. why make things so hard for me.
when i'm already at my wits end, you just seem to rub salt on my wound,
does that make you elated? no ?then don't do it. very painful already. don't add more x.x
end up mother sort of gave me another unconfirmed reply.
came home,
washed up,
and smsed.
tired of everything.
tomorrow graduated ma'am might be coming back.
still got sku hmwk to chiong,
still go so many things to take care of.
i'm really tired.
feel like giving up already . .
and sometimes i really wonder,
wouldn't it be better if she was the leader.
-nana

2010-03-19T22:16:00.002+08:00

today training was.

WOW O_O,

LOL,

;x mrs phua was talking halfway then i ,

cried? /=

idk why ehs, seriously, nana whyy euu cry uhs ? O_O ,

childish leyy. O_O, idk, i somehow feel i not a good leader

omgosh

omgosh

why am i talking to myself

FREAKY

OMGOSH

stone too much LOL

hahahhas ~

anws,

idk lurh, :] actually i know the reason.

lol, whad crap ._.

okehs,

then muscle ache and ankle pain die.

bang le like,

huge impact to body liddat, eyes will wince LOL

pain die jiu shi le.

throat pain also,

shout not loud enuff somemore,

end up straining it more x.x ~

lalala :D,

tmr got briefing ~

JIIAYOUUUUS :D

HAHAHAS,

BUAIIX <3

2010-03-18T20:56:00.001+08:00

training was uber tiring,
i come home
like stone liddat
stone there one hour
stuff food in my mouth LOL
now just bathe,
better lerhx,
eye like dunnoe whad,
lemon?
SO SOUR LOL
;x
hehs,
training today was filled with ALORT of info O_O,
i mang dao copy bu wan.
oooops ;x
hahahhaas,
anws,
look on the bright side yeah ~! :]
jiiayouuuuuuuuuuuus NC5 ONE MORE WEEK.
WE CAN DO IT <3
lurb nana ;shy

2010-03-16T10:54:00.002+08:00

everything's over :]
i'm just a naive, dumb piece of crap.
who doesn't even have the least common sense,
nana,
quit it will you?
ahahahhaha,
this defaming of euurself won't help you in anyway ._.
anws,
Thanks all for the moral support,
especially,
JS jie, Ki Ki, Hanis, vinvin :]
buaiix ~<3

2010-03-15T21:24:00.002+08:00

it's been three years.
yupps.
three years,
and thru all these years,
you have been right here,
right by my side,
giving me moral support.
thank euu hanis,
really <3

2010-03-15T00:00:00.002+08:00

iloveyou.
my dearest,
thanks for everything you gave me.
the precious memories, the love and care and the time you gave.
i'm sorry that i have to do this,
but i guess it's what i chose,
if i don't do this,
i guess there'll be no ending to my worrying for you.
it's not your problem,
not at all,
it's all my fault and my problem,
so sorry .
Nana,

i was once a normal gurl,

but you, boy, came in and changed everything,

you took my loneliness away,

my pain away,

but i guess it's not me that rejects what you are giving me.

maybe i just cannot accept some facts about you.

i'm not sure.

sorry.

2010-03-13T18:50:00.002+08:00

if only it was over.
i'm tired of everything.
i seriously am.
i feel so fake?.
i can cry this moment,
and the next,
when my mum enters,
i just dry the tears immediately and smile.
so fake can.
vehh fake .
idk how solve anything anymore.
i have no more strength to give.
might have some left.
nana,
garner euur strength.
idon'twanteuutogiveup.
hmmm,
talking crap :]
had leadership camp today,
i guess i made some people irritated agn o.o
but not NC5,
idk,
cuz i was like talking that they had to be more detailed bout it,
then later they asked teacher,
acutally no need,
okkehhs narhx x.x
my fault, duibuqi x.x
anws,
i made a huge mess when i was eating lunch ._.
lmao,
the ending part was nice,
they made everyone write good remarks bout each other lmao O_O,
but hor,
some things written were not true.
i keep lieing to myself,
so fake
lmao O_O fake appear so many times :]
uber tired of everything already.
talked to vinvin after sku,
luckeh bo cry o.o
almost LOL =x
he now sleeping ~
hmmmm,
sleep longer kkaes,
let me cry longer.
buaiix :]
/ps. nana don't cry anymore. it's stupid and doesn't help. i'll try.
/pss. leadership camp's coach was right, words hurt, and so does actions.
/psss. please, at least reply my message or msn, i really miss euu. sometimes i really wonder if i should trust euu. at the end, euur just adding salt unto my wounds.
/pssss. conqraqulations white meimei got audiie cpl worx, jiejie gong xi ni <3>:[ i slap him !
/psssss. sorreh paupau, that time suddenly off, not cuz of euu, cuz of me :]
/pssssss. firstlove&besties huat, euur my source of energy, my source of strength.

2010-03-13T07:29:00.002+08:00

for a special someone;
euu have given euur effort,
euu have done euur best,
everything was perfect,
but it wasn't euu who ruined it,
it was us,
and i was part of it,
i'm sorry,
but i have no more confidence in myself anymore.
euu have given us euur time,
euu love,
euur concern,
but i guess some didn't realise,
cheer up,
i know euur tired,
but it's reaching the end soon,
hold on there.

2010-03-13T07:25:00.002+08:00

uber tired.
wallet broke ytd ._.
like whatthe.. /=
then end up ,
my pocket all coins x.x
went karina's house to disturb her aft sku ytd,
was uber sian =x
stoned :]
then i went home,
changed and took an angbao on table,
stuff all coins inside and go kovan meet abby,
ended up finding karina at popular o.o
then abby came later :]
karina uhhs,
jiiayouuuus on folding euur stars <3
during lunch,
mummy asked me something,
i agreed to it,
it's true, yes,
and i guess it's that obvious .
tried finding a wallet,
ended up buying erm birthday presents ><
i'm gonna try making one when i get home after camp tdae :]
didn't go meet vinvin ytd ohhs o.o
paiseh .
nothing much to post lurh, x.x
woke up then head so heavy le,
like fever liddat ._.
cuz fell aslp aft i bathed x.x
buaiiix ~ <3
/ps. i miss euu, but still . i guess it's just like that.

2010-03-11T20:26:00.002+08:00

i realised, i have lived just so many regrets,
school as per normal :].
tmr last day lerhx?
then it'll be hols,
i guess i'll just be stuck at home stoning,
someone jio me out pleaasseeee, x.x
but have full day training on thursday and friday,
ohh dieee,
i'm so scared x.x
competition's coming,
the teams superbly un-united.
everything's falling apart again,
where's the teamwork we have garnered up these past few months?
flew away?
or did you just forget that we were supposed to be ALL together?
idk,
i'm a failed team leader kays.
like seriously? , which team leader sees that the team has problems and is unable to solve it,
only me? i guess.
i can feel it,
just right now, right here,
the team splitting apart.
training was fun today i guess?,
we were like all shy or idk erm, stoning o.o while nitejsha ma'am talked to us?
then after awhile i guess we softened ,[wad a way to put it nana ==] , and talked together,
they were playing with gloves o.o
blow to bubbles then POP it goes :]
kkaes buaiix:]
if that's the face you wanna give me,
tell me why,
if i have done something wrong,
tell me why,
don't leave me thinking,
don't get me wrong,
i asked a question,
and you got so irritated,
i'm that irritating i guess?
but still,
i'm part of your team.
. . .

2010-03-10T20:29:00.002+08:00

sometimes i really don't know what you want from me,

lalala,
today morning drill was cancelled due to rain,
was damn tired lurh, x.x
go sku like damn shag liddat,
then i stone ,
did chinese compo corrections ,wrongly though ._.
and went change P.E.
and and before i forget,
to someone:
sorry if i was cold to you,
but,
i guess i just didn't have time to type more,
i was changing kkaes =/
and,
if you don't wanna reply me,
or euur just too busy,
tell me when euur free at least kkaes.
if not i end up doing nothing and not knowning whad to do.

had assembly,
was uber cold x.x
kept sneezing,
end up i think i use like 3++packs of tissues ~
physics was uber hot =x
like seriously, really HOT ~ LOL
=x
all the flames ._.
haiiyoooo,
then Jaime dropped my pencilcase,
dirtied the floor,
walked arnd with her to find broom,
LOL x=
she damn lame kkaes ._.
the other class no teacher and got TWO broom,
she never go see,
she go ask me try the one with the teacher de
end up i ask her go there ,
then she hehheh LOL ?
=x
shall not crap lurh,
chinese was a bore ._.
aft sku ,
played piano with karina at canteen:]
erm, had malay which was uber funneh LOL
i wrote Sheryl a letter <3>:[
LOL ,
kkaeeeees,
end here :]

sheryl wrote this,
Nice to everyone,
Agreeable at all times,
Rushing through work, naughty naughty:)
Caring for every single person,
Insanity is hat people love about you,
Shy ,shy you,
So adorable ;D
And finally,we love and adore you!

lmao, half wrong =x LOL , nana's not shy >< nana's not caring, and agreeable and nice /= LOL
but i'm insane, that's a fact i can agree on =x
buaiix <3
/ps. baby , i missyou, i really really do.

2010-03-09T19:44:00.001+08:00

hmmmm,
got back my results,
and
it isn't really that desirable,
but still... i passed the overall for every subject ?
i guess parents are disappointed,
but the only thing i can do now is work harder ~

History

CT->12.5/20

hols assignment->4/6

total->63.8 [B4]

Homecons

section A->37/50

section B->8/25

total->60/100[B4]

English

narrative->19/30

comprehension->12/20

vocabulary->4.5/5

summary->15/20

total->6809/100[B3]

Art

total->60/100[B4]

Geography

groupwork->23/30

CT->16.5/35

total->56/100[C5]

Maths

CT->35/35

class test->16/20

total->95/100[A1]

Science

CT->28/45

Class Test->11/20

total->61.5/100[B4]

Chinese

listening->14/20

understanding->10/10

CT->24/40

composition->58/100

total->63/100[B4]

Literature

Total->73/100[A2]

As seen,

nana has many many B4s,

i just came back?

erm,

post bout the trip on another day ~ :]

buaiix.

/ps. baby , get well soon :]

2010-03-05T21:08:00.001+08:00

going overseas,
afk blog,
i no mood blog now,
seriously,
really no mood. ._.
buaii ~

2010-03-03T21:46:00.003+08:00

shall not blog emo todae :],
went to sku,
had amazingly tiring drill =x
lol,
i think i bang too hard,
right leg was hurting like siao o.o.
qt and aishah fought,
didn't know why,
and i'm so ignorant can?
only found out like after drill ._.
lmao,
but i guess it's all the character and attitude problem :]
idk uhs,
sometimes advices and comments are hard to tell,
and sometimes,
the one who does it might suffer.
and i forgot to bring my mogumogu bottle !>:[,
more like i lost it,
wtf o;
lol x= vulgar , psps
hmmm,
had assembly which was uber boring,
was like falling alseep =o
then P.E.,
cuz my leg was already hurting,
i ran 6 rounds and ended up like jelly 0.0
but felt ok aft that,
lmao, i sweat like szb o;
hahahahas,
took back physics,
was duper happy i didn't fail,
it's he first time i passed physics common test paper,
o.o ,
jumping away?
after that,
chinese came as a strong blow ,
boom ~
passed though :]
but it was B4.
chapel was sad.
that' gurl's so talented.
hmmm,
during lunch,
played piano with karina,
lmao,
she hor >;[
malay was uber boring,
though teacher didn't stop us from not concentrating :],
i finished homecons? lol during malay =x
hope to hand it in tmr,
cuz monday not going sku,
friday got e-learning o.o
so means i'll be missing school for 3 days? o;
hmmm,
recently level-ed up in audiie,
study barhx nana,
tmr got mock comp :],
hope that i won't forget everything that i have studied these few days ._.
actually,
once i get nervous,
it all flies like aeroplanes outta my brain ~
;lala, posts have been vehh wordy,
lol,
don't read,
it's not worth to read,
i'm only venting my anger,
and recording my life :],
went to buy some stuff for sjab,
and i wasted $2.20 on train fare ._.
ever wondered why? I BOUGHT THE TICKET,
didn't bring card ._.
blehhhh,
;sigh,
stupid stupid nana,
i was like whining away to abby
lmao
kkaeees,
hope that there'll be a better tmr,
buaiix :]
/ps. didi , xiang korkor , paupauu jiejie , hanis, jiiayouus for exams
/pss. don't leave me, i don't want you to.

2010-03-02T02:15:00.002+08:00

sighs o;
just woke up x.x , 2am?! sot le lurh ;cry,
fell asleep at idk whad time ohhs x.x,
but my head was like splitting pain todae,
now better le ><,
guess i can stay up a few hours =x,
let's see,
woke up,
couldn't find my wallet ==!
looked arnd the house like szb,
in the end only tio papercut,
no wallet ._.
went sku without wallet,
go up bus time i blur somemore x.x,
paid $1,
NANA EUU WANT DIE ISSIT, WASTE SO MUCH MONEH ! >:[
anws anws,
was almost late,
reached school and didn't have time to reply any more messages,
from different peep,
mainly because i had sent a message to lend a badge from most,
hahahas,
thanks karina for lending meee <3
my life savior :] hahahahahhaha
ran to field for drill x.x,
after awhile seniors came and we started procedures, :]
idk ,
but i felt damn sick and tired this morning.
lack of sleep ?
i'm not sure,
but some teammates forgot to buy mogu mogu ,
my fault lurh ,x.x
so sorry,
i'm just too forgetful,
hope that everything will be fine tmr,
mmmmm,
assembly was duuuppeeeerr long,
cuz of the overseas trips all those ._.
after recess veh sad?
got back history, then homecons results,
didn't tell parents yet,
guess they didn't ask ,
but yupps,
i just didn't wanna tell,
i don't know how to face them,
everytime daddy sort of forces me into the room to study,
but even so,
i wasted his efforts.
i didn't get good grades,
i even failed one part of homecons.
nana, i have nothing to say to you.
homecons recipe today was uber yucky -sticks out tongue-
blehhs,
after school came training,
training was,
tiring,
we did one hour of drill non-stop,
and at the last procedure before we took a break,
i guess me and xy sort of,
broke down alr,
no voice =x
i sore throat liao ,
one more time x.x
TT ,
whyy liddat de,
shout niah,
also won't die,
why keep sore throat,
stupiiidd throat >:[

you know whad,
i feel like i'm drifting further away from you,
idk whad's wrong with me,
jealousy or whad,
idk,
we didn't even speak something proper to each other today,
imissyou,
but sometimes i really don't know what to say to you.
whenever i look at you,
all the memories start recollecting,
but soon,
as you drift further,
i start losing them,
i tried hard to keep them,
but i guess my memory killed them,
imissyou,
i want the memories back,
iwantyou.

buaibuai<3
/ps. jiahao didi jiiayouus for exams <3
/pss. abby, conqraqulations on passing hist <3
/psss. NC5, gambatte, <3
/pssss. i think this post is uber long, but who cares? no one reads it anyway :] ,
everyday's posts just lists my hopes, wishes, and memories of the day, no one
needs to know ! :]
/psssss. miss die euu lerhx,

2010-02-28T22:57:00.002+08:00

fact is,
sometimes when you want to do something,
there's always obstacles that don't permit you to do so,
i feel so confused,
which way should i go.
i made my mind to go that way,
but now,
an obstacle showed up,
and the other route which i thought of going is appearing in my mind again.
it's making me tired,
it's making me unsure,
i'm not sure which way,
but i only know,
since i have chosen the current route,
there's no way of self-abstraction nor u-turn,
so i guess there's no choice but to follow.

2010-02-28T19:18:00.001+08:00

morning woke up,
bathed,
changed,
went nainai's house to pray and eat breakfast,
but before that i didn't know !
so i ate two slices of bread already
x.x!
hahahahhas,
then spend whole day tutor meimei ==
halfway she zao,
then i heck?
Lol.
i miss euu sia.
but when euu talk to me,
idk whad to say.
hmmmm,
buaiix ! :D

2010-02-27T23:44:00.002+08:00

went outt with abby todae <3
hahahas,
thanks alort uhs,
for walking walking walking,
and accepting my pickiness
=x
lols,
buy clothes for tmr lurh ._.
then like buy dao so nice :]
hahahahas,
thanks to abby's taste o.o
=x
hehs,
><
saw seniors at sweet talk,
hmmm,
said hi O;,
they were so high,
Lmaos =x
they say going to the zoo to feed monkeys sia ;woot
O_O lols ~
kkaeees,
lazy post todae,
tmr post pic of clothes i bought :]
buaiix ~

2010-02-27T07:43:00.002+08:00

26th Febuary,
lessons went on,
and i was damn down,
had cca,
which made me feel so zi bei ,
changed some things on the administrative part of the team,
and continued practising,

hoping that someday, i'll be so perfect. But even if it isn't possible, i'm gonna try my best. It's a dream of mine, and i'll work hard towards it.

/ps. thanks all for the comforting, i really am fine :]
/pss. sorry for neglecting many, during common tests , trainings etc, hahahas especially my gans, so long bo talk to euur le , duiuqi.

----------------------------------------------------
27th Febuary,
going out with abigail later :]
post later `

2010-02-25T23:08:00.002+08:00

nine more posts to eternity ~ ><
hahahas,
joking ,
just that it's gonna be 1oo soon :D
had school todae,
monotonous.
hmmm,
hahahas, during geog,
mrs cumar was like,
my name what are you doing?
i stared at her
lmao,
then i say ,
i writing notes -puts up papers-
wth sia lmao.
i take her notes,
still say dao like i wrong.
fine lo,
she ask me listen,
ting jiu ting.
then had blahblah lessons,
during science uhs,
those who went for badminton left,
end up those whu no go in class niah,
mr thomson played dunnoe whad videos,
and i think only like 2 or 3 watched them?
i was studying for training lmao.
ytd study le,
but i guess nothing got in.
hmmm o;
had training,
guess it went fine barhx?
at first i was damn scared to go x.x
hmmm,
then during lunch sasa damn funneh kkaes.
she hor,
man tun tun de
slowly eat the rice,
then like i say sasa,
one minute left le,
she chiong lmao,
but still quite slow ._.
Lols ! o;
kkaes,
not funneh i guess,
sianzxc,
didi,
euu want stab hor,
stab me also :]
buaiix ~,

a way out, may a beacon of light show me.

2010-02-25T00:10:00.002+08:00

don't trickle down my cheeks,
cause i never wanted you to.
don't be mine,
cause i'm not worthy of you.
don't leave me,
even at the end of the day.
because i know deep down,
i loved, missed, and needed you ;
time,
i guess that turned everything to peace.
i guess it cleared all misunderstandings,
or maybe at least faded the sad memories,
and made me miss the good ones .

2010-02-24T19:41:00.002+08:00

i think euu are all pissed with me,
not some people,
i'm just referring to a specific group and someone :]
hahahahs,
didn't turn up for english rehearsal,
psps ohhs,
totally forgot ..
idk.
somehow,
i don't wish to be entangled in this anymore.
blehs.
can i quit?.
really,
seriously.
hmmm,
anchi just called me.
so sorry can.
sighhs,
idk how explain le.
tmr got training again.
skipping the badminton competition for it?
hmmm,
hope that everyone will be more serious .
guess it'll be fine.
hope it'll be fine.
and really,
sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry .x.x
buaiix.

i did something, really regretful.

2010-02-23T20:31:00.002+08:00

effing wanna cry now can. ._.
todae uhs,
many things happen.
i don't get it ,
and i don't wanna spell it out.
mmmm,
idk uhs,
qt jiejie,
seeing euu like this,
letting euu rant .
it just feels so .. idk whad.
hmmm,
maybe i shouldn't let euu rant ?
idk.
tdae damn sian.
had maths paper,
finished in 25 mins, then still left with 15 mins? so i redid the paper.
had english and art after that.
was practically not focusing can~
then came dunoe whad lessons.
during public speaking my head was hurting like .__.
pain die le.
and lent karina's pe during pe lesson.
thanks <3
like really a million times.
x.x
i feel so guilty.
for not giving someone a b'dae present.
for lending karina's shirt.
hmmm.
i really wanna hide from the world ._.!
buaix.

2010-02-23T20:00:00.001+08:00

passing everyday like it was a dream or the past.

2010-02-22T23:52:00.000+08:00

ehs o;
wtpokee ~
i forgot to take spaghetti out.
end up
the sauce leak out of the container,
go into my bag ._.!
and then later my books got sauce somemore
TT
sian sia.
i cleared liao,
but so disgusting .
TT , why must such things happen to me.
tmr handcarrying most things.

2010-02-22T20:32:00.002+08:00

tdae go sku ,
damn tired already.
and i had a feeling someone was still angry with me,
so i didn't really go close to her .
hmmm,
if euu not angry le can say marhs?
or at least come tell me rite,
don't treat me like that.
cuz i'm really hurting vehh badly when euu do that.
x.x
i think i numb le sia.
O; indifferent euu may say :]
science paper was supeeerr horrible !
i think i failed. :]
i guessed thru 3/4 the paper ._.!
hahahahas,
died.
papa didn't come home todae,
i wonder whad happened,
or maybe just whad he usually does?
confiscated my keyboard .
hmmm
/=
don't let me play.
i tong ku can.
x.x
idk,
luan luan, sheng huo hao luan ohhs !
thursday training start lerhx.
tmr maths paper,
didn't study ;x
hahahas,
die?:d
dunnoe, i think i need repack my home nursing notes,
SO MESSY CAN !
i think i just write out the important points, the notes like one file thick de ;diao
lalala,

abigail,
don't be sad lerhx.
idk,
don't so angry,
just becuz he keep calling euu " ____" , doesn't mean anything,
cuz to me, and everyone that loves you,
euu are a treasure,
one to be loved and cherished,
cheer up and live life happily,
it hurts to see euu like that.
lurb,
nana x3

made stars in macs with abby tdae,
for that someone o.o
lol ~
kkaes
buaiix <3

2010-02-21T21:32:00.003+08:00

vehh nice.
i did study kkaes.
for like half the afternoon
and the whole of ytd. even when euu brought me out.
i brought my notes along.
euu shopped.
i sat and studied.
and when you come back,
well,
it's just such a coincidence that i finished bathing and my sisters finished their afternoon fun.
they start studying.
yarhs.
euu say they guai.
fine.
that's what you say.
but you know the truth behind it?
i guess not.
and asking me to study,
i doubt it helps.
cuz i have given up on myself.

2010-02-21T20:27:00.000+08:00

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY ~x3

2010-02-20T17:08:00.002+08:00

chinesepaper, ihateeuu.

i think i fail lerhs.

hmmmm,

and hor,

the teacher maths fail lurh >:[ dunnoe how count time =x

gave us like 5 mins extra O_O Lol!

hahahhaahas,

i still never finish anw =3

blehx,

before IT, my head start pain le x.x

then dizzy dizzy,

go sjab le,

mock comp >:[

idk lurhs x.x

i felt so not confident?

hmmmm

then aft the comp they tell us our mistakes time i damn dizzy sia.

then fall out ~

hmmm,

went to clear sjab room,

hope its clean enuff barhx.

when i was going home,

xy was angry with me.

i asked her,

euu were angry with me since english rite?

then i went toilet to wash hands.

hmm?

then came back,

she said since morning.

i really vehh sad at that point of time kkaes.

i guess i acted indifferent?

i said goodbye.

then i left.

was really very tired ytd.

i couldn't take it anymore.

reach home ,

i guess i was glad daddy was not there.

if not .

i doubt i would even be able to sleep at 8 pm.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Saturday

woke up,

had breakfast,

wanted to wait till ten before studying,

but daddy came out of his room and told me to go study.

i was damn angry .

my whole body was aching already.

let me rest awhile more also cannot?

fine.

i went to study,

end up later lunch go out .

i took the paper along.

guess i just finished one chapter?

what's the use.

i see euu scolding ____ every moment.

idk whad to say.

and euu do it in a sarcastic way.

i don't wanna talk abt it.

bleh.

buaiix.

2010-02-18T18:37:00.004+08:00

o.o
tdae go sku hor,
head vehh heavy,
dizzy dizzy,
during drill keep do wrong,
cant remember commands,
suckish /=
TT
then had history paper O_O
ohhhmyyyygawdd, ~
idk how go one question o.o
i think i fail,
i write so lil' x.x
lalalaaaa,
todae damn tiring,
thursdays are always tiring ><
blehh ~~~
haahhahahas,
i think hor, i these few days de blog post vehh long leyys.
dunnoe why ><~
during science,
karina ask me to ask baby out, i asked,
he said sure :] Lol ,
then after that she say, we're going as a group de lehh !
so it's all ask him no her onli
;lala LOL
studied chinese,
o;
i hor,
blog halfway left ,
lol now dunnoe whad i wanna write le x.x
buaiix
/ps. abby , get well soon kkaes <3
>< i know cant force de ,but drink more water and eat euur meals ! O;
/pss. baobeii so chiio o.o
/psss. ;lala tmr got cca x.x

2010-02-17T22:04:00.002+08:00

literature paper went HORRIBLE .
LMAO . i think that's the wrong word . but
still,
=x
i think i drank too much coke ehs,
damn high now,
but sleepy too x.x
later must chiong the google thing if not tmr tio scolding from mrs cumar ._.
hmmm,
and i'm not doing science i guess o;
too much.
and idk how do.
;sigh
tdae after chinese,
i handed in zuo wen,
wu lao shi asked me stay back and talk with her .
eeeeks x.x
lol,
she said my punctuation marks are childish =x
cuz i write bubble de x.x
=x Lols ! =x
hehs ,
then after that she told me my problems in zuo wen x.x
and she finally ended with,
ni xie cuo ti mu le.
LMAO .
if write wrong still bother tell me that this should be this and that should be that.
x.x
just tell me rewrite directly marhx /=
lol,
end up i did rewrite,
did it during lunch,
and managed to stuff a waffle in ;yay~
hahahahas,
karina, abigail and mama all went home.
so lonely sia,
mummy saw me at the stairs
and she said,
come i peii euu :]
so good sia,
together with sheryl, stacy and shi mama,
they went for lunch,
i followed :]
mummy ate tom yam noodles Lol =x
she said it was veh spicy o.o
so she drank my drink o;
lol ,
then sheryl so kind ><
i ate some of her big seaweed O_O
LOL
its biggie o;
kekes,
then mr ng came,
they asked the history questions,
and at that point of time,
i couldn't understand.
now , even after studying,
i still can't
useless right. Lols
=x
and i was vehh blur kaes.
then had big major headache.
put my head down to rest during malay,
surprisingly,
teacher didn't stop me o;
=x
i got listen kkaes >:[
then aft that,
i decided,
i shouldn't be stoning,
so i went to borrow hist questions from jaime,
did one,
and went library ,
hoping to find mr ng there,
he was there,
in fact with alort of peep o.o
i went in,
vehh paiseh,
asked him to help,
waited awhile for him to be free,
and he helped me with my answer,
:] and i guess it was just average.
came home,
had an apple for dinner ><
hahas,
and studied throughout ~
i finished the tune i want to gib baby for his present o;
o.o
hmmm,
told him last night that i didn't trust him,
but after much thinking,
i guess i still trust him?
Lol . contradictions huh.
nana, euur fickleminded >:[
i wanna trust euu.
i don't wanna have any doubts o;
lalalaa,
hope abigail and mama's hands and legs recover soon ! <3
kkaes,
buaiix ~~<3

2010-02-16T07:24:00.001+08:00

woke up at 12 midnight ,
just to find my eyes teary ._. ,
and woke at 6+ ,
then couldn't get back to sleep.
my head now vehh heavy sia . x.x,
sighhs,
and,
abigail,
sorry for making euu worry,
i'll not ever do it again.

2010-02-15T21:59:00.001+08:00

seriously have no more energy to go on anymore.
guess stoning did the job.
bye.

2010-02-15T19:17:00.002+08:00

this is the umpteenth time.
idk how spell that word.
euu said it so many times to me.
idk how many knifes euu have stabbed thru my heart.
rinee jiejie's right,
words hurt more than physical pain.
euu said euu hated me.
idk whyy,
and idk how to get euu back.
mei. i'm sorry for anything that i've done wrong.

tdae stoned whole day,
morning wake up,
stayed at my bed there almost whole morning,
afternoon,
decided to play my comp,
end up,
i stoned as well .
hmmm,
now still stoning,
i guess my life is filled with stoning?
so empty.
hmmm.
lazy to study.
i guess i have given up on myself?
i'm not talking sense i know :]
i'm drifting further and further apart from baby.
idk whad to say to him.
idk whether to sms him or not.
yarh yarh, euu say sms euu.
but ,
the feeling of staring at a phone is damn bad kkaes.
sighhs.
x.x
buaiix.
/ps.
a day that passes,
a day of loneliness,
a day that i have always wanted to have,
seems just so far away,
it's out of my reach,
but still,
i'm gonna reach out for it.

2010-02-15T00:15:00.002+08:00

hahahas ytd,
went bai nian ~
mmm,
then its like,
i felt damn out.
adults talk.
nana stone.
hmmm,
and they say i zhang da le worx ~
hehs :]
then after that went for lunch,
the guy at the restaurant there ,
guy: gurl !~
nana: -pats mummy-
guy: come here ~
nana: uh ?
guy : passes oranges -
nana: thank euu !
guy: don't worry, they aren't bombs
LOL
lmao =x
hahahahahahas,
then came home and stoned the whole day.
x.x
lalalala
buaiix ~ :]

2010-02-12T22:23:00.003+08:00

euu adorable kid,
talking to euu simply,
lifted my spirits.
nothing else had done it,
only those words of euurs.
wow? .
and when euu ever said hurtful remarks,
i guess it does hurt vehh badly too. o;
lalala,
cousin came to stay over o.o
hmmm,
he gave me loads of tips on science ><
fail le i tell euu
the way he say,
i think im failing x.x
diaoo.,
buaiix ~

2010-02-12T17:44:00.002+08:00

went class outing.
didn't do much
i stoned for like the whole one hour.
but ,
no doubt,
the outing comm did a great job,
new year's coming?
i don't want it to come.
it's just endless troubles that comes to me.
whyy.
x.x
sighhs,
todae whole day like vehh sian liddat,
dui peng you men dou hen mei jing shen,
duibuqi.
just that,
i can't stop thinking of someone,
and the words.
the first time i read the message ,
compared to the second time,
lesser words were seen,
i only saw the important part the second time.
yupps.
i know she's better than me.
go on. i don't mind.
whyy do people like to compare?
my parents,
my relatives,
and now ..

2010-02-11T23:47:00.002+08:00

had geography test today.
blogging before it turns 12 am.
mmm,
didn't finish the last question.
i really wanted to cry at tht point of time kkaes,
never finish,
no time check somemore x.x
sighhs,
then
had blahblah lessons,
during maths,
miss gan pranked us >:[
she say if got 20 peep get that question correct,
she won't gib hmwk,
end up got 20+ she counted 18,19,17,18,18 liddat ,
lol.
thn still,
she bo gib hmwk ._.
lol.
mmm,
had summary,
boring x.x
idk.
wrote exactly 150 words.
so accurate uhs ?
must be i count wrong de.
came home,
ate porridge with pickles.
i hate having meals.
everytime will end up with food tat doesn't fill me.
or that is useless.
== ,
learnt how to play oasis by b2st.
finished learning,
watched tv.
audiie.
smsed.
bleh.
buaiix.
/ps. really sorry. i don't want to cause euu anymore trouble.
/pss. wishing that time passes, and memories fades.

2010-02-11T23:01:00.003+08:00

i broke a promise,

a great one i guess?

i'm sorry,

but did i mean it?

no.

i guess i just did it.

it's all my fault kkaes,

from causing euur fone to be confiscated onwards,

all my fault.

i'm sorry.

idk how .

i'm not gonna disturb euu anymore .

iloveeuu,

i'll miss euu, baby.

2010-02-10T18:43:00.002+08:00

todae in sku damn funn kkayes ! =x
i mean,
CONVERSATIONAL MALAY WAS DAMN FUN WITH SHERYL !<3 HAHAHAHA
~~
okehhs,
mmm,
had morning drill >:[
i bang ,
then i hit dao my left ankle,
bang so hard that there's a contusion wound there ==!
after that no time somemore,
we were later for assembly,
just run directly,
i hecked it,
didn't bother much on it,
hahaha,
was damn funny,
we were running ,
then sarah gave timing ,2,3,4, then we stop running greet, and continue running ! Lols !
assembly was somehow o.o
wierd . haha,
went for english comprehension test >:[
waahh the table damn shaky can !
KEEP SHAKING >:[
but it didn't affect me ^^
lol.
paper was soso o;
after that uhs,
idk whad lesson,
then came erm chinese o.o
wulaoshi o;
haiiyooooo !
She make us do the exercise which i dunn understand x.x
then after that gave us alort of hmwk O_O.
die le lo.
need study,
need chiong revise,
still need do her hmwk x.x
haiiyoo !
D;
nana stupid, no competence LOL .
hahahaha,
had live ~
live was. somehow boring =x
draw draw x.x
my drawing sarks. ~
blehhx,
then erm,
malay after lunch ?:]
malay horh,
at first damn boring de,
asked sheryl entertain me >i sit on floor bug her LOL
she vehh sweet ohhs,
send her flying kiss she catch and keep to her heart de LOL .
hahahaha,
then she say she got two heart somemore O_O,
two lives ~
kewl :]
haahas,
then walked home wif abby ~
o.o
hehs, we talked alort,
mostly abt the gift we were gifting to some person o.o
kkaes ~
buaiix.
/ps. duibuqi, hai le ni. x.x xi wang wo bu hui rang li shi cong yan.
/pss. I YTD THEN FIND OUT THAT SUNDAY IS CNY OMGOSH WHADS WRONG WIF ME ;cry
/psss. happy early chinese new year yeahh =x Lol
/pssss. and i doubt anyone ever reads o.o

2010-02-06T20:54:00.002+08:00

spent a whole day on homecons
and wasted it .
==
damn pissed with it lurh.
fail liao uhs x.x
!~
sighhs.
baiibaii ~

2010-02-05T19:26:00.002+08:00

eeeeeeks x.x
tdae headache sia D;
keep on and off headache.
thn have two tests,
english compo , and IT test.
IT test was fine,
english compo was horrible,
my head was hurting vehh badly,
end up idk whad i wrote also x.x
must be done vehh badly barhx.
didn't go for cca,
x.x
felt damn weak,
daddy fetched me home
and on the way home he talk talk talk
mmm,
thn came home i ate lunch,
and took bitter medicine,
then went sleep ,
slept abt 3 hours?
mmm,
woke up,
head damn heavy kaes,
pain pain still x.x
haiis.
buaiix.

2010-02-03T20:46:00.003+08:00

ytd daddy say nana dumb.
he say i dunn trust my parents.
mmm,
if i don't trust euu,
think whyy.
hahahaha.
fine im dumb.
im manipulated by whad people tell me to do.
but isn't it better to follow instructions?
i don't know.
my whole family is pissed or euu can say angry with me for being choosy at food.
they blame me for being choosy.
it's not that.
i said numerous times.
IM NOT ALLOWED TO EAT FRIED FOOD.
x.x

buaiix.